Speculations

A fearsome flash revealed a dreadful sight,

And I pushed it away with all my might,

It still persisted, with the agonising pain

And I knew it would leave a 'dark' stain!

A saddist, a pesimist, a depressed soul

A person without hope, without a goal!

I have heard so much about myself now

That all i do is 'take a bow!'

All I do is look at the mirror and smile

At all that i believed all this while.

I feel happy that atleast I dreamt well;

So what if I woke up in Hell!

At least in my dreams i saw Paradise;

And now, for me it would be wise

To accept it all and move along

To find 'my place'; where I 'belong'.

With all my heart i try to achieve this

But in the very beginning, it is all amiss!

As my heart was the curse; in a state of mess.

And there is where lied all my weakness

Only if I had used my 'mind',

I might have succeded, to realise what I attempted to find.

Today I have even left hope of finding myself!

Of finding that peace; that solitude; a place where i might dwell...

Call me a saddist, a curse, a pesimist, intolerable; but

I am, and will be this; because doors of change have all been shut!